Miracle

Today at exactly 10:47 Roger took a shower!!

Really chaps my hide.......

Roger is unique individual. We've lived with him for over a month now and we still have no idea who the heck he is. During his one week where he spoke to us every day, the stories he told us were all completely false....at least that's what I believe. For example, he's had 3 heart attacks and a stroke and each time he just waited for them to pass without going to the hospital. He went in a supermarket and came out with three shopping carts full of food and they owed HIM 36 dollars. He once caught 267 fish in an hour in Tennessee. He sang a song to the head of the bank and they gave him a $2,000 loan. When he went back the next week to pay them back they refused the money and said he could have it.

So yeah.......these are the stories we hear from Roger. I really dont care that he lies about stuff like that. What I do care about is toilet paper. I dont think toilet paper gets enough credit. If not used correctly, the outcome could be instrumental to breakups, awkward moments at group parties where its really hot, and extra work with your laundry. Now Tony came prepared when we moved into our house with 10 rolls of premium 2 ply toilet paper. I'm talkin the good stuff! Roger has been using 1 play western family toilet paper. Now I'm not gonna bash 1 ply but when you go from premium 50 ply to 1 play there's a big difference!

Last week we noticed that more than half of Tony's toilet paper was gone! Not to get into too many details but between me and Tony we used maybe.......two.......maybe. So where the heck did the other six missing rolls go?!? I ended up confronting Roger about it. He didnt respond and just kept watching tv. The next day he put his own roll of 1 ply western family TP.

I know this blog entry is long but I have to include the last part of my story. On Saturday Roger finally left the house so I did what any normal person would have done. I sorta broke into his room. My mission was to recover our missing toilet paper. It was more the principle of the matter. Well.........I couldnt pick the lock this time. (I guess I'm a little rusty than I was on my mission) So I crawled in through the window. Ok I know! But I just had to know!! Long story short, I found nothing except for 8 bottles of medicine on his desk. All the pain killers were empty. I'm a little embarrassed about this story so I'm gonna stop now!

Just Hangin Out..........literally.......

Has anyone ever lived with an old guy?? I'm learning many things about that. Today I learned that it's very possible that Roger could die at any second. That's what old people do. I had that scare when I saw Roger in the above photo. For the past two weeks he hasn't moved from this couch. He wakes up at 11 and goes to sleep at 1 in the morning. I'm not gonna lie......I was a little interested to see what I woulda done if he really had been dead. Is that weird?

The next part of the story is probably the most disturbing thing I've seen since Bob and Tony chased each other around in their speedos. Ok here we go.........Tony and I were walking out the door and I figured I'd take another look at Roger and make sure he was still breathing. Bad Idea!! BAD ANGLE!!!! The picture below is what I saw and definitely should have a parental advisory attached to it. Thats right......Roger was well........hangin out a little bit...... Two hours later when we came home he hadn't moved at all.

Ok so why did I take the picture?.......well you would have too!

Midget throwing

We live in a sort of a ghetto neighborhood here in Orem. The first clue was that we have no grass in our yard, the second clue was that nobody here wears a shirt, and the third clue is our midget friend!!

Probably one of the funniest things I've seen here is the little midget with his black friend that has blue lips. They stand on the corner and throw rocks at my car when I drive by sometimes. I dare you not to laugh at that! Its funny for three reasons: 1. It's a midget. 2. Its a little black kid with blue lips, 3. Have you ever seen a midget throw rocks??

So here's my problem..............I cant really just whip out a camera and take a picture of these little kids. I mean come on, I have SOME boundaries! I figured I would just google it cause you can basically find anything on the internet. I dont know if you've ever googled "midget throwing a rock" but it's hilarious to see what pops up! enjoy!!

Roger's cooking

Ok so the first night we moved into our house Roger had dinner waiting for us. Please keep in mind that we hadn't even really met this man before. He's only said three words to us. So anyways......Roger made us dinner and Tony refused to eat it. (Tony told Roger he wasn't hungry) Istead, he cooked up some cup noodles while I chowed down on Roger's noodles. This is Roger's new favorite thing to do. I think he's trying to be our "friend" so he can stay in the house. Tony mentioned that we were going to bring down a grill so we can have bbq's. The picture to the left is what we found the very next day in our fridge. If you can't tell what it is I'll explain. These are three large T-Bone steaks. Normally that would be fine except that these are unwrapped and laying on top of the groceries and dripping blood!! We made sure the next three days not to be around so that Roger wouldn't have a chance to make us the steaks. My only mistake was having the smoothie that Roger made me. What I didnt realize is that he used the strawberries that were underneath the steaks that had been dripping blood for 3 days. I dont wanna talk about it..... This is the list of what Roger has cooked us: Noodles, soup....well it was more like goulash, popcorn, smoothies 3 times, cornbread, totinos pizza (with extra special ingredients that he added on), and........I think that's it.

Roger has been in a bad mood lately so he's slowed down on cooking us things. I think it's because he has arthritis, which is a blog post for another day.

Roger!!

I was inspired to start this blog due mainly to one new person now in my life. That man's name is Roger Dale who is pictured on the right laying on the couch. Roger is our (Tony and I) unexpected roommate.

As school was approaching Tony and I still hadn't found an apartment. Our summer's activities, procrastination, and bad luck, led us to this fateful house one beautiful Saturday afternoon. The landlady Julie (stereotypical happy valley wife addicted to oxycotin) was just so nice to let us sign a contract on the spot with the promise that Roger would be gone in a week.

..........Well...............it's been almost a month and Roger still lives and resides as our roommate!

The next few blogs and posts will be dedicated to the man we know as Roger Dale. I'll try to uncover his past and decipher which one of his many, many, many, stories are true or false. I hope you enjoy!

P.S. jumping ahead a little bit, we had a family night with Roger last night. He sang a song that he made up and we got it on tape so that's something to definitely look forward to!!